On Friday, I took the boys to the library.
We stopped at the bookshelf at the front and surveyed the children's books for sale, as we usually do, and purchased one.
(We can never have too many books!)
We wandered inside and Talmage had to go to the bathroom.
Wesley got a drink while Talmage took care of business, and then he informed me that he had to go too.
Wesley is just newly potty-trainedish and had just gone before we left the house, so I thought he just wanted the novelty of experiencing the library bathroom.
Not wanting to drag everything in to help him go, I told him he could go when we got home.
As we went to look at books, Wesley again told me he wanted to go potty.
And again, I told him he could go when we got home.
Seconds later, I turned around to find him staring at me with concern, his legs awkwardly straddling a puddle on the carpet.
And yet, as I calmly smiled,
apologized for not taking him to the bathroom,
and took his hand to go to the front desk and request some clean-up supplies,
I also thought about how far I've come as a mother.
A couple of years ago, this simple sequence of events would have caused me stress and impatience.
Now it is merely a tiny bump in the road that we take care of with patience and love.
As the years have gone on, I have learned to let my children experience life as a child should.
I have learned to only say 'no' when necessary
and to think hard before I say it.
I have learned to let them play in ways that seem inconvenient
or messy for me
if it isn't causing any real problem.
I have learned to rejoice in every single moment
of a new baby's life, however exhausting it may be
because the first year slips away far too quickly.
I have learned to let my children help when they ask
because all too soon they may not be so eager to offer.
I have learned to reassure more when accidents happen,
and scold less.
I have learned to let consequences teach lessons and to discipline with a hug.
I have learned to fear my failings less and trust in God more.
I wish I could say I was always true to these and many other lessons I've learned.
But slowly and surely I am learning,
Maybe it's not such a Mommy fail after all.