Saturday, August 24, 2019

When the Ache is Profound

There's a lot to love about Tennessee,
but I have to admit that sometimes I miss Utah so much it hurts.

On some days the ache is more profound than others...
like when I see a house for sale with the most perfect backyard, just a few blocks from my sister's house (who also has 5 kids, the same ages as my kids) and I imagine the fun we could all have.
Or when I pull out a tick from my knee...because the ticks are CRAZY here.
Or when Sam's bike lock gets smashed and his bike gets stolen because...Memphis.
Or when I think about all of the extended family activities we are missing out on.
Or when the boys are playing with toys at a neighbor's house and I see a brown recluse spider crawling around in the toy bin.
Or when it is April and I wonder WHY the grass is a nondescript shade of brown for a full 6 months of the year.
Or then, when I compliment a stranger on her grass, explaining that I am from out West where the grass is lush and soft and her grass looks like I could lay down in it and she replies, "Well I don't'd probably get chiggers." *sob* (I have become somewhat of a grass expert since moving here. Utah grass is the most UNDERRATED thing there! I hope all you Utah people reading this go and roll around in your grass for a while tonight!)
Or when we are on heat advisory and the humidity is so high we have to use windshield wipers even though it's not raining.
Or when I have repeated laughable (but majorly frustrating) experiences with doctors while thinking longingly of the cutting-edge technology and beautiful medical facility (with free childcare!) we left behind.
Or when I ask a friend whether a nearby lake is a fun place to play, thinking of the fun we had at Bear Lake, and she says uncertainly, "I guess the snakes just swim away from you..."

At times like this, I start to get into a rut.
I miss our extended family gatherings, the magical Summer evenings, the close-knit neighborhoods filled with kids, the big gardens and fruit trees that seem to be a dime a dozen, the parades and festivals in the Summer, the picture-perfect chilly Fall afternoons, the delight of my kids as they play in the snow, and the beautiful mountains practically in our backyard.

When I find myself falling into one of these ruts,
I find that one of the best remedies is to get out and find something to love about where I am now.
Truly, Tennessee is a lovely and charming place! Sometimes I just need a reminder of that fact.
On one of these tough days a while back,
I decided to take the kids to experience the world-famous Gibson's Donuts of Memphis.
I am not a big donut lover, but it was fun to try something new!
We bought 12 different donuts and I cut them up into sample-sized pieces.
We tried them all, and I think the winner was maple-bacon.

You know, for every thing I miss about Utah, there is an alternative to love about Tennessee.
We may not have family nearby, but that means that we get to have amazing, fun-filled visits to and from family members!
We may not have lush grass, but we have beautiful forests all over the place.
We may not have cool Summer evenings, but we have fireflies, and we have fun swimming pools at friends' homes and the possibility of having one of our own if we buy a house here.
There may not be big gardens and fruit trees all over the place, but there are some pretty awesome U-pick farms nearby that we get to enjoy, and we could easily have a home on an acre or two with our own little backyard farm if we wanted to.
And, one of the best things is that my husband gets to be so happy with his job and absolutely thrive in the place he works--something I have come to realize is really rare in the working world.

I don't know what the future holds,
but I know that there is much to love within it.

1 comment:

  1. Kaitlyn, I feel your pain. I especially understand how it is for you when you're missing your family in Utah. Dealing with Brown Recluse spiders is horrible in the south. Here in Huntsville we have those and what appears to be huge, Mouse Spiders, that are also poisonous, and as big as my hand. I spray inside my house for the spiders often. I fear all of them. It's true, there's no place like home though. At least we will have an eternity with our family where we won't be apart, or dealing with heat, brown crispy grass, or spiders. It's good that Sam is happy in his job since he is there more than home. I was happy for all of you when you returned to Utah, and I wish Sam could work there rather than so far from family and the special place I know Utah is. There's a spirit in Utah that isn't anywhere else. I feel out of place here in Hunstville, even though I love our place here. We've already been here almost 4 months and it still doesn't feel like home. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of living. Hopefully once fall arrives and I can enjoy fishing and hopefully actually catching some fish, I will feel better. Right now I am dealing with a neighbor that has crossed our property line making it a big issue just to put up our fence. There always seems to be something or someone sucking the joy out of life. Still, Heavenly Father and Christ comfort me, as does the knowledge of this life only being a moment in time and I have eternity to be at peace and live happily. Still, we trudge thru the difficult time, and I feel it's best to not try to pretend things are always perfect. We must experience the bitter to appreciate the sweet, it's true, but I'd sure appreciate more of the sweet as I have had more than my fair share of the bitter. My love to you and the family.


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