I always get so sentimental when Fall begins.
This year I'm particularly nostalgic because on top of the usual memories of dating/falling in love that Fall brings,
we're a few months away from our 10th anniversary
and I'm turning 30 in less than a year.
So I've been given to even more reflection than usual (and that's saying something!).
In the early days of our relationship in dating and marriage,
we wrote many long, gushing e-mails to one another while we went about our duties on our college campus.
Ten years ago today, for example, just as we were falling in love:
Subject: Quintessence of Your Nature
To Samuel the Magnificent:
I came across this quote and decided it epitomizes your essence, so naturally I had to show you:
"'That best portion of a good man's life [is] his . . . kindness,' said Mr. William Wordsworth ('Lines Composed a Few Miles Above Tintern Abbey' , lines 33–35). There are lots of limitations in all of us that we hope our sweethearts will overlook. I suppose no one is as handsome or as beautiful as he or she wishes, or as brilliant in school or as witty in speech or as wealthy as we would like, but in a world of varied talents and fortunes that we can't always command, I think that makes even more attractive the qualities we can command--such qualities as thoughtfulness, patience, a kind word, and true delight in the accomplishment of another. These cost us nothing, and they can mean everything to the one who receives them." -Jeffrey R. Holland
Do you recognize the first line? :) You, however, are handsome (and beautiful, in a very manly kind of way...), brilliant in school, witty in speech, and...hmm...I guess I don't know (or really care, frankly) about wealthy! You have a wealth of...um...amazingness! The more important qualities listed above are abundant within your character, and I thank you for that! Your kindness is a continual shining example to me. Actually, all of your actions are so exemplary that I am continually 'awed and amazed,' to use the phrase of my mom. I continually look forward with excitement to be a partaker of your presence and essence. Thank you for all you do! I hope your day is absolutely exquisite!
Subject: Re: Quintessence of Your Nature
To Kaitlyn the Pure:
Thanks for the wonderful quote! Your compliments make me want to live up to them, so thank you. I have learned that it takes more virtue to compliment than to be complimented. Sometimes we are tempted to impress but the people of real virtue are those that are impressed and learn from others rather than trying to impress others. You are definitely that kind of person - that compliments, that is impressed and learns from others, rather than seeking compliments and to impress, and you take "true delight in the accomplishments of another," like Elder Holland said in the quote.
And for the record, I am a millionaire. Everyone must know this, and you most importantly. I thought the word motif you used in your last email was really impressive and poetic - with the -sence suffix (quintessence, presence, essence). Perhaps sometime I will tell you about the miracle of cellular senescence and how it prevents the formation of cancer in our bodies.
I'm grateful, so very grateful, for our relationship. I wish I could explain to you how peaceful it makes me feel. Everything about you exudes peace, happiness, sweetness, and incredible awesomeness, modesty, appropriate restraint, sweet boldness, patience, humility, and much, much more! I hope to have the pleasure of doing something with you this evening!
We laugh fondly as we look back on these e-mails...
(If you think these are gushy, just know that I chose some of the most mild ones.)
I have them compiled in a very large binder along with dozens of creative notes.
Just before we were married, one of my aunts remarked about our relationship, "I feel like I'm in a Jane Austen movie!"
And it's funny, because while we occasionally still have a cute note or an eloquent e-mail to add to our repertoire,
our life is currently more Dr. Seuss than Jane Austen.
But that's totally okay.
Because we have grown ever closer even as our lives have been filled to the bursting with other responsibilities.
Parenting together, as crazy as it is, has been such a unifying process.
The ups and downs and busyness of schooling and career progress have brought us closer together as we have turned to one another for counsel and strength.
The all-encompassing demands on our time right now help us cherish all the more the moments we get to focus on each other 100 percent.
Every life and every relationship has different seasons,
but our love has grown ever stronger through the changes.
So while our love is currently characterized more through kisses stolen in the middle of dish duty with children underfoot than it is by rapturous writings,
we are steadily growing closer together.
And now I'll end these sappy writings
and continue to re-live my memories to myself.
Just like I do every Fall.