Wednesday, July 11, 2018


The week after I have a baby is always a particularly tender time for me.
The combination of recovery, hormones, and overwhelming new-baby love leaves me feeling incredibly vulnerable.
After Benson was born, Sam was able to take several days off and I spent most of the time sitting in bed, cuddling our precious new little one while he took care of everything else.
At one point during those tender hours I came across this song,
and the words pierced my soul.

"At times I may grow weak
And feel a bit discouraged
Knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job.
For who am I to serve you?
I know I don't deserve you.
And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on."

I listened tearfully and felt those words expressed not only to my Heavenly Father,
but to each one of our children.
Someone, somewhere, could surely do a better job of mothering these little boys.
Who am I to serve them?
And as I looked at my crinkly new baby, curled up asleep in my arms, I surely thought, "I know I don't deserve you."

And yet, here we are.
Here I am.
They have been given to me to nurture, to teach, to raise, and to love unconditionally.
And despite my flaws, my Savior keeps picking me up and I mother in His daily sufficient grace.


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