Wednesday, July 11, 2018


The week after I have a baby is always a particularly tender time for me.
The combination of recovery, hormones, and overwhelming new-baby love leaves me feeling incredibly vulnerable.
After Benson was born, Sam was able to take several days off and I spent most of the time sitting in bed, cuddling our precious new little one while he took care of everything else.
At one point during those tender hours I came across this song,
and the words pierced my soul.

"At times I may grow weak
And feel a bit discouraged
Knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job.
For who am I to serve you?
I know I don't deserve you.
And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on."

I listened tearfully and felt those words expressed not only to my Heavenly Father,
but to each one of our children.
Someone, somewhere, could surely do a better job of mothering these little boys.
Who am I to serve them?
And as I looked at my crinkly new baby, curled up asleep in my arms, I surely thought, "I know I don't deserve you."

And yet, here we are.
Here I am.
They have been given to me to nurture, to teach, to raise, and to love unconditionally.
And despite my flaws, my Savior keeps picking me up and I mother in His daily sufficient grace.

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Not Calm, But Happy

Today in Primary one of the teachers asked the kids what activities they enjoyed doing with their families.
The responses were what you'd expect:
play games, read, play video games, etc.
Then she called on Lincoln.
"I like when we do cannon balls into the pouf from the stairs or the art table!"
he said joyfully.

Her eyes widened.
"Wow! That sounds...crazy! And fun!" she said, glancing over at me in amusement.

That pretty much sums up life at our house...
not calm, by any means--
but happy kids, in general.
'Cause really...who can resist cannon balls into the pouf??

Just do me a favor and let me know before you stop by, mmm-kay?
Because happy kids and a clean house often seem to be at odds with one another.

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