Monday, February 24, 2014

Today

Originally posted 06/28/10

Talmage in the hospital shortly after he was born


Last night I was looking for a quote about motherhood and I came across this poem:

I Will Not Feel Guilty

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo.

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

-Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

This was a poignant reminder to me that I need to make sure I don't let menial tasks get in the way of my spending time with Talmage! Sometimes I get so fixated on little things that seem so important and neglect that which is the very most important.

Later that evening, I found myself rocking Talmage in his room, watching him drift into blissful slumber and desperately trying to memorize the moment...

the spiderweb veins criss-crossing over his eyelids...
the two cowlicks he has on his head--one in the front and one in the back--just like his daddy...
the way his hand rested securely on me, seeking reassurance that his mommy was still close by even in his sleep...
the way his eyes rested only half-closed and darted around beneath the lids...
the warmth of his body as he lay curled in my arms...
the sweet little dimple on the top of his ear...
the perfectly smooth, soft, blemish-free baby skin...
the little button nose...
the blanket covered in little blue and yellow trucks...
the green and blue striped pajamas...
the round, blue binky that occasionally moved in sync with his sucking...
the two bright, slightly crooked teeth I knew lay beneath that binky and the big, piercing, deep brown eyes I knew lay beneath his long, dark lashes...
the rhythm of the rocker as I rocked him back and forth, back and forth...
the sleepy bug I gently wiped from the corner of his eye...
the soft whirring of the ceiling fan...
the dusk-colored light that streamed through the blinds on the large window in his room...

...each exquisite detail was a heaven-sent reminder of the blessing of motherhood. I hope I never lose sight of that.

I continued to rock and bask in the beauty of the moment. Into my mind came visions of our sweet little Talmage on his first day of kindergarten, graduating from high school, leaving on his mission, going off to college, bringing home a very special girl he has given his heart to, and advancing through life as a capable adult...one who was once so innocent and helpless, just seeking the security and warmth of being held.

From the other room I could hear my own husband talking on the phone to his sweet mother, and thoughts about how he was once her sweet, helpless little baby flooded my mind. Now he is grown, married, capable, educated, and raising a son of his own, just as our little Talmage will be before we know what happened to the squirmy, drooling, Cheerio-eating, loudly babbling package of delight we have now. The thoughts tore at my heart with a mixture of exquisite joy and heart-wrenching sadness. It was a beautiful message given to me from Heavenly Father to live in the moment and rejoice in today, regardless of our individual circumstances for if we live only for tomorrow, we will be left with a lot of empty yesterdays (to paraphrase Meredith Wilson).

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully written! I have really enjoyed reading your recent blog posts.

    ReplyDelete

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